Mother’s Day is a perfect opportunity to show your mom just how much she means to you, and it’s important that you find the right words to express your feelings. However, some things are best left unsaid and can make your mom think twice about how much she loves you—and zegbeg.com are five of those things that you should never say to your mother on Mother’s Day.

Don’t say I can’t believe you’re my mother

We might not always like what our mothers say, but we are obligated to respect them as people who deserve love and honor and gratitude. So it’s never a good idea to start a conversation with your mom by devaluing her. She is you mother, after all, and no matter how much you disagree or how far apart you are in life, she is someone worthy of your love. The same is true for fathers, by the way; when it comes time for Dad’s big day in June, be sure to follow these steps for having tough conversations with dad.

Don’t say you ruined my life!

Even if your mother is lecturing you about your weight or pressuring you to settle down with the right person, she doesn’t necessarily want you to start questioning her motives. She’s just expressing her concerns and trying her best, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Rather than responding with a defensive tone, try something along the lines of: I know I’ve been kind of stressed lately, but I’m going to do my best not to take things out on other people. Even if your mother is lecturing you about your weight or pressuring you to settle down with the right person, she doesn’t necessarily want you to start questioning her motives. She’s just expressing her concerns and trying her best, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t say are you trying to tell me something?

This is not how you want to start a conversation. If your mom’s being cryptic, try asking her straight out what she’s trying to tell you. She may have something she wants to say, but just needs someone else to bring it up first. When you start a sentence with are you trying to tell me something, it leads her in one direction: wrong answer? Just ask her point blank if she has something on her mind—she may surprise you by saying yes.

Don’t say, you don’t know anything about raising kids!

Unless you want your mother to go off on a rant about how much you don’t appreciate her, it’s best not to criticize her parenting style. While she may have raised you and given birth to you, that doesn’t mean she knows everything about raising kids today. Instead of critiquing her for being behind-the-times, take a moment (or ten) out of your day and appreciate all she does for you and your family. And if she offers advice that sounds good but seems contradictory with what someone else has told you or what you know from personal experience, make sure before going with her suggestion that it comes from a place of love and concern.

Don’t say, don’t blame me if I end up just like you!

Don’t try and lay your shortcomings and failures at your mother’s feet. If you aren’t where you thought you would be in life, remember that it is not because of anything she did or didn’t do, but simply because of who you are as a person and how hard you are willing to work to achieve your dreams. That way, when your children say something like that to you on their birthday (because they will!), all you will have is unconditional love for them, regardless of how disappointed you might be about how their lives turned out. To show them what a real mother is like, treat their mothers with respect today!