How to use appropriate words to send condolence greetings?

Giving condolences, known as “heartfelt condolences”, is not an easy task. We’ve all been through the ordeal of losing a loved one and understand how difficult it can be to express ourselves with the right sensitivity.

In moments of mourning, there are many feelings that are stirred up and tact and delicacy must be exercised, which is why it is of the utmost importance to be careful with what is said and how it is said, to avoid hurting sensibilities or deepening wounds. But don’t worry, we will give you some advice so that you can express your condolences in an appropriate way without making you uncomfortable.

Greetings of condolences: what to consider

If you want to reach out to a person who has had a recent loss with words of encouragement, the first thing to do is put yourself in their shoes and avoid being too harsh in the way you express yourself. 

1 | be very tactful

Not everyone processes pain in the same way, everyone assimilates grief in their own way. There are people who are more sensitive than others and even if you trust them a lot, be considerate and discreet with your words; This way you won’t hurt the feelings of the grieving person.

2 | Avoid asking uncomfortable questions

3 | be considerate

Do not touch irrelevant topics. If the mourner is a work or study colleague, keep in mind that at that moment he is simply a human being grieving the loss of a loved one, give him support and encourage him to cope with the pain, do not raise issues that are not to the case at that time.

4 | How to act when giving condolences greetings?

As we mentioned earlier, be empathetic, put yourself in the shoes of the mourners, avoid uncomfortable comments or jokes to break the ice. As for physical contact, it depends on different factors. You can give a handshake, a kiss, and even a hug. This last option is one of the most frequent when condolences are given, however, this can make the person collapse. Keep this in mind if you want to avoid breaks or access.

5 | words of comfort

Be warm with your words, they should give encouragement and express understanding and affection. The object of a condolence greeting is to provide support and moral and emotional support to those close to the deceased.

The way we express our condolences can be formal, close or sentimental. Condolences are not for the dead, but for their families. Therefore, the way we express ourselves will depend on who we are addressing and the relationship we have with that person, not with the deceased who caused the mourning.

Some of the most used phrases are:

• My dearest condolences
• I accompany you in your pain
• I’m so sorry for your loss
• My deepest condolences on your loss

These phrases are commonly used and lack closeness due to how frequent they are. If you want you can use them after giving some heartfelt words of your own and express your support in a more personal way; However, at Hogar de Cristo we can offer you a personalized and caring alternative: charity crowns.

6 | charity wreaths

Hogar de Cristo’s charity wreaths are the easiest way to express your condolences to the mourners. By sending a crown of charity, in addition to having a significant detail with the relatives, they are invited to participate in a mass in which they ask for the eternal rest of the deceased if they wish.